Chairlift Smalltalk

In case you are planning on hitting the slopes one of these days, here are some ways to avoid the boring smalltalk on a chairlift with strangers:

10. Start naming random people you know and see if they know them.
9. Ask them if they're single. Ignore their answer and start hitting on them. Don't worry if their partner is sitting next to them.
8. Offer them a quarter to lick the side of the chairlift. Ridicule them when they don't accept.
7. Start the wave.
6. Sing 'Row Row Row Your Boat'. After you get through it once, ask them to join in a round.
5. Ask what their favorite movies are. Be sure to inform them of what you dislike about each of the movies they mention.
4. Shout down to anyone that wipes out, asking if they're alright. Pretend you're their parent. The older they are, the better.
3. Pretend you have diarrhea.
2. Fall asleep on their shoulder.
1. Just before you get off, tell them how all your friends say you're the nicest person they've ever known.

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