Below is an email conversation between my friend, Rob, and I regarding the subject of Facebook.
Here is what Rob wrote:
All over the world, people are caught up with Facebook. Multiple times a day, they have to check whether they have any new wall posts, or new comments on their photos. It becomes an obsession to stalk each other's profiles, to keep up with who is friends with who, to keep up with any messages they send and receive. To see the latest pictures of everyone. It is an obsession that takes up more and more time. Some spend hours a day checking their Facebook, even in the boss' time.
Is it a new thing though? Didn't the same thing happen with MySpace before Facebook, or the many similar sites on a smaller scale? Don't we spend as much time on MSN or checking our email? Does anyone even turn off their cell phone at night anymore, let alone at any time during the day?
It seems to me that it's a trend that has been going on for years now. In the Western world, we have become more and more obsessed with being in touch with each other, in whichever way possible. A lot of older societies didn't spend nearly as much time on social interaction. Today, not only do we spend more time interacting face to face, we also use all the new technological devices available to us. The danger with them is that they are much more easily available to us. And so they lend themselves to addiction. Arranging with a friend requires time and effort from both. MSN means talking to whoever of your 200 friends is available, without having to leave the house. Facebook or Myspace don't even require the other person to be online, and, unlike email, they allow you to see your friends' activities too. Nothing is easier, and nothing requires as little personal effort. But it can end up taking a lot more time, simply because it is so easy.
So there are two very closely related dimensions to the problem. One, that we are obsessed with our social life, and two, that we are easily addicted. I distinguish between the two, because they have different implications. First, obsession with our social life. In itself, there should be nothing wrong with the increased importance of social interaction. But it either stems from, or helps to cause, a need to base our self-value on the opinions of other people. Our identity is found in who our friends are, even how many friends we have, what the group likes or dislikes. Even those who dress or act in such a way as to shock people, or to be different, do so in order to gain a certain kind of recognition. We measure everything we do according to the tastes and preferences of, or simply to impress those near us. In doing so, we rely on others for our own gratification. And I think Facebook and all the other devices I have mentioned are only a symptom of that, not the disease. Second, our easy addiction. That, too, is part of a bigger trend. Or is it a trend? Today, we turn to friends, computers, the internet, sex, drugs, alcohol and so many other things to find satisfaction. In the past, people turned to other things. For instance, in ancient Greece, and even in Europe during the Renaissance, prostitution was much more accepted than it is today. The difference, I think, is that, again, it has become more easily available to us. As humans, we are prone to looking for satisfaction outside of ourselves (unlike animals, for instance). That is the power of religion. And though we don't call it religion nowadays, we still worship all kinds of things in the same way, by devoting our time and resources to them. I think it is much easier to get addicted to such things these days, simply because things like Facebook and pornography are found in our own homes, where no one sees them. By making it hidden, we have increased its power.
My conclusion would be that Facebook, or any of the other devices I mentioned, is not a plague, or any kind of disease. It is a symptom of a much bigger plague. That plague touches us all. It is the plague of humanity. Facebook stands out as an example because of its novelty (the same has been said about things like televisions and computers, in their day). I don't see any reason to quit all these things. What is needed is an awareness of what they are and what they are not. They are not devices that are worth devoting our time to. They can be used for entertainment and communication purposes, but little more than that.
My Response:
Well put. I agree with you. My grandparents were the same way
about the internet when it first came out. They don't condemn people
for using it, but they still don't have it. They see it as
unnecessarily complicating life, and so, they choose not to use it. I
respect them for that. I even made sure my mom printed off my blogs
and monthly updates so they could stay informed as to what I was doing
while I was in Egypt.
The thing is, all of these addictions have snuck up on our
civilization until we have begun to rely upon them for life. I can't
imagine giving up the internet. I wouldn't mind giving up TV, but
movies would be horrible to give up. These things are useful in my
life. Not just for entertainment, but also to get me thinking, and to
learn more. But how can I stop at just that when I am only human? I'm
sure I abuse these things as well. That is why when I see the next
iteration of social entertainment come up, which, in this case seems to
be Facebook, I want to steer clear of becoming addicted to it and
relying on it like we rely on electricity. I have chosen to abstain
from it, and I think that choice should be respected. Such is not the
case with the people I talk to, however. Many of my friends argue with
me over why I won't get Facebook. Nobody can understand why I hate it
so much, and I can never articulate why I think it is so horrible. The
fact is exactly what you pointed out: Facebook isn't the problem.
People's addictive consumerist behaviors are. I know I, like most people,
can have an addictive personality, so I choose to steer clear of things that can
be of danger. I steer clear of alcohol, too. If I don't feel I need
these things, why should I subject myself to them? This has helped me
to understand those older generations that claimed TV was 'the devil'.
I always thought those people were just stuck in the stone ages and
scared of progress. They probably know that progress isn't what it has
cracked up to be.
With all this increase of communication throughout the world, the ease
of it, the convenience of it, people are 'communicating' more than
ever, yet it seems so many people are lonelier than ever. You can walk
through a city, filled with people, yet nobody talks with those around
them. They are on cell phones, or reading newspapers, or listening to
music. I look around at people on trains and buses and I see lifeless,
lonely people, searching for meaning. Families hardly even communicate
any more. People are so busy that they don't sit around a table
together to share a meal. Parents work longer hours, students spend
more time in school or doing extra-curricular activities. With the
ease of communication that surrounds us, we live in a pretty shallow
and ignorant world. We busy ourselves so we don't feel our emptiness
or loneliness. All we are doing is stuffing square pegs into round
holes.
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11 comments:
Yep, you hit the nail on the head with that one. Good for you for making the decision to not get sucked in to the vortex! I'm sure you have healthier relationships because of it. I, for one, am PROUD to be called your mother! Love you...
yes... no... how about being addicted to sleep? Sleeping is something that I think we should do between 6 and 9 hours every night. Many people sleep in and sleep more than that... Another addiction.
The problem is.. that we tend to invent things that make life better (read: lazier). Because of this we get used to little work, and there comes the issue of not WANTING to go without.
Because if this issue, everyone (or most people) start doing the same. As long as enough people have computers, there will be enough programs, spare parts, games, etc.
When everyone starts to use things.. for example the computer, school start teaching it. Why? Because it's good to learn to work with whatever is 'needed' later on in life. Right?
The next step is that once you get computer lessons at school, you need to get a computer at home as well, because you're bound to get homework for the IT lessons too.
And there... everyone that has kids in school gets a computer. Within not too long every has a computer, because as kids grow up they need to computer more and more, for secondary school, to type out essays, for college, because they study programming or so, for work, because they use Excel for calculations and Outlook Express to communicate.
That's basically how it is with all new inventions. After a while of this hype people no longer accept the fact that you don't have an email account, or a computer or a washing machine or a car. That's what makes people need them.
However, facebook is not yet at that stage, thanks to people like you, Ryan, who don't give in. However, I tend to be the lazy kind. I realize that facebook offers great means of staying in touch with people and therefore decided to give in to it, meaning one more person encouraging others to do the same... yet RESPECTING the decision made by others to stay away from Facebook.
Wow.. that's a long story that doesn't add much.. but I'll post it anyway for the sake of not having wasted the time I spent typing it up. Perhaps someone will read it. Then I'll be wasting their time too...
We can add Blogger to the list of addictive things.
sooooo you won't join facebook because you are afraid you might like it too much and diddle your life away spying on your friends? I guess I can understand where you are coming from, but at the same time it seems a wee bit silly. I don't think you are proving self control by not joining. Self control would be only checking it once a day. I realize that you are trying to steer clear of temptation, but come on, it's not heroin.
Are you saying that we should avoid all situations in which we might be tempted? If that is the case I should just kill myself now. I'm tempted everyday to do things that are not good, right, noble, or the like, but God provides me with a way out every time. I will not live my life in a box.
I see facebook as a way not only to communicate with my friends, but also a way to better understand them. Why can't you use real people's lives to make you think instead of staring at a box with fake people inside it for 2 hours.
Amen, Amen.
I don't know you Kristine but I disagree.
Just wanted to say that.
maybe i'm being narrow-minded but i really don't see the difference between blogger and facebook. would you quit blogger if everyone that you have ever known joined and linked to your blog?
Rob, you need to be more clear of what your point is. however, your attempt at getting to the root of facebooks overuse is appreciated.
Ryan, i really like your point here;
"With all this increase of communication throughout the world, the ease of it, the convenience of it, people are 'communicating' more than ever, yet it seems so many people are lonelier than ever. You can walk through a city, filled with people, yet nobody talks with those around them."
i have found your statement to be very true at times. i have also found it to be very dependent on my own personality. i have spent alot of time downtown vancouver and never spoken to a soul. i have also done experiments and found it to be easy to get a great conversation going. a non-creepy smile, or a helpful hand can go a long way. now this can depend very heavily on what city you are in, and on who you talk to (San Francisco being the friendliest city i have ever been in). if i didnt know you Ryan, and i spotted you alone on the c-train, what would you offer that would keep me from judging you as a lifeless, lonely person, searching for meaning? i don't see how facebook is making this situation worse. if anything i see it making people more comfortable with talking to each other, especially family and friends, and possibly strangers too.
@lyallstyle:
I think facebook (and other sites like it) do make this situation somewhat worse, in that they make it way to easy to hide. Facebook is a fake community. You make people believe what you like. It's important that we run into each other every now and then, and by spending more time on facebook, we spend less real time with our friends. Face to face communication remains the best way to maintain a relationship.
So I think in a way you're right, facebook should HELP the 'lonely problem' that we have, but I think when it becomes a substitute for face to face communication, then that defeats the purpose. And I think it does sometimes take the place of healthy 'real' communication.
Don't know what I'm trying to say.. but anyway..
Marcel
i think your comments were needed for sure marcel. you really got it right here; "I think (when) facebook (and other sites like it)... becomes a substitute for face to face communication, then that defeats the purpose. And I think it does sometimes take the place of healthy 'real' communication."- i couldnt agree with you more.
It's not fashionable to defend facebook anymore. Join the dark side.
sounds somewhat hypocritical, Rob...
it is hypocritical...it's just this conversation isn't going anywhere.
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