Camel Racing

Today was the day of our annual Christmas Pageant. Although it retold the story of Christ’s birth quite simply, this pageant was quite unlike any other I have been a part of. Why? Because we used live animals in our simple little pageant. Complete with sheep, camels, and a donkey! Since I was Wiseman #1, I had the privilege of riding a camel through what might be called the sanctuary of our church (maybe I’ve forgotten to tell you, our church services all take place outside, beneath a tent in an Anglican Church’s courtyard since our church doesn’t have a building of its own). It’s pretty crazy how life changes sometimes, isn’t it? About this time last year I was bundled up, trudging through -20°C weather in Canada. Now, here I am in Egypt riding camels while I’m dressed in a galabiaa (I don’t know how to spell it, but a galabiaa is a typical Middle Eastern form of clothing that is little more than a one-piece gown that reaches from your shoulders to your ankles).

Well, now that I have had the experience of riding a camel around, I would like to share a few tips with each of you, should you ever have the opportunity to ride one:
1. Go to the bathroom before riding a camel. Camels enjoy elongated periods of urination, often just before going on stage. As the camel relieves itself, the sound of it causes you to wish you were doing the same.
2. Pull your galabiaa up to your knees before attempting to mount the camel. Galabiaas are somewhat constricting and don’t allow you to spread your legs much wider than shoulder length.
3. Sit close behind the first hump of the camel so that you can wrap your legs around the hump and rest them on its neck. This also enables you to pull your galabiaa back down over your white legs.
4. Lean back when the camel begins to stand up. A camel stands up in stages. First its hind legs stand up about half-way, then its front half stands up completely, and finally, the back half erects itself completely. During this time, you must lean back, then forward, and then back again. Doing so keeps you from flying off of the camel as it stands up.
5. Watch your head when riding a camel in a confined area. Camels are much bigger when you’re riding them than they look in postcards! You’re sitting about six feet off the ground when riding a camel. Your head is therefore much higher… perhaps in the vicinity of where loudspeakers are hung.
6. When dismounting a camel while it is still standing, practice doing so before you try it in front of five hundred people. At one point in the pageant I had to jump off of the camel, onto the stage, all without it sitting down. Let’s just say in our first performance, my dismounting procedure was less than graceful (and now I’ve got an injured shoulder from the stunt as well). At least the audience had a good laugh (I sort of missed part of the stage when I tried to jump off of the camel onto the stage).
7. Another thing to remember when dismounting a camel is to be sure that your galabiaa doesn’t get caught on the saddle horn (I made that term up. I’m talking about the handle thingy that you hold onto while riding). Failure to do so could result in a most embarrassing incident. This tip was inspired while watching Wiseman #2 dismount from his camel. This also got a good laugh from the audience.

Well folks, there you have it! All you need to know to successfully ride a camel! I hope you enjoy your Christmas season, wherever you are in this world. Who knows what your next Christmas will have in store for you!