On the evening of December 23rd, 2005, an historic event occurred. The Dutch allowed me to participate in their Sinterklause celebration. Now I’m sure it’s not often that they allow foreigners such an honor (because of such scandals as poor old Black Pete), but I’m completely irresistible to the Dutch (I’m a vonderful goot guy), and so I had the privilege of witnessing this momentous evening.
The night began with everyone bringing their presents into the room in suitcases so that their gifts wouldn’t be seen. Then the gifts were hurriedly stuffed under a blanket where they were guarded by Holly the cat (that’s the non-pregnant one). The snacks were brought out next. There were cookies that tasted like licorice, miniature ginger-snap-type things, other candies that I can’t pronounce, and a nice hot chocolate for each person.
Next came the gift distribution/opening. This worked by having one person (namely Ryan the Rookie) grab a present from under the blanket, then he/I had to do five jumping jacks, spin around six times, and then present the gift to whoever’s name was written on the present while singing the Sinterklause theme song. Just kidding. They’re not that weird. I’m pretty sure there is a Sinterklause theme song, though, part of which is supposed to be sang after each gift is opened. Now, after the first present was handed out, the person who received the gift had to read out the poem that is attached to the gift. This is the genius of Sinterklause: Each gift given must be accompanied by a humorous poem that pokes fun at the person receiving it. So, after the poem is read and everyone has a good laugh, the present is finally opened, at which point the latter portion of the Sinterklause theme song is supposed to be sang, “Dank u Sinterkla-sha”. Something like that anyways. Following that, the person who received the gift then goes and grabs the next gift under the blanket and presents it to whoever’s name is on it, and the ritual is repeated. This continues on for the next six or seven hours. Just kidding. I didn’t time it.
I’m trying to think of other crazy things we did that evening, but I’m afraid the Dutch aren’t as weird as ‘Austin Powers: Goldmember’ likes to make us think. With that said and done, I’m going to go celebrate North American Christmas, as it is the morning of the 25th at the moment. Have yourselves a Merry Christmas and all that jazz.
Sunday, December 25, 2005
Thursday, December 22, 2005
Pictures of Dahab!
Hello! I don't have time to write about my adventures in Dahab yet, but I have put some of my pictures up for you to check out in the meantime. Hope you like them! I think they actually show up in reverse order for some reason... so the ones at the end of the trip are at the beginning, etc. Boooo. Oh well.
Monday, December 19, 2005
Greetings From Dahab
Hello Everyone! I am writing this blog post from an internet cafe in Dahab. The waves of the Red Sea are crashing against the shore at my back. It's pretty windy today, so the sea is full of waves. Lots of people are out windsurfing. I woke up today and looked out the window of my $10 a night hotel room to see the Red Sea right beside me! I headed down to a restaurant on the shore and took a seat right on the edge of the boardwalk. As I sat there reading a book and sipping on mint tea, the waves crashed against the wall of the boardwalk so hard that my feet could feel the ground vibrate whenever they hit the wall. The odd time they would hit in such a way that the water would shoot up like a geyser and sprinkle a drop or two of saltwater upon me. After finishing my tea, a waiter brought out my breakfast: pancakes with fresh fruit and vanilla ice cream. It was good.
Following breakfast, Heidi, John and I went on a 4-wheeling safari out into an oasis in the Sinai mountains, and back along the coast of the Red Sea. It was loads of fun. Now I'm here nerding it up in an internet cafe for less than a dollar an hour.
Yesterday we drove out to a place called the Blue Canyon (I think), and snorkeled there. Actually, it was mostly them snorkeling, and me standing shoulder-deep in water trying to figure out how to breathe through only my mouth without panicking when I started floating. It wasn't a very successful endeavor for me, but I did see some cool looking fish and I had the opportunity to flail around helplessly in the Red Sea. I had just read the passage about Moses and his people crossing the Red Sea that very morning to psych me up for this moment. Anyways, I should get going. I'm beginning to crave a ridiculously good meal for $5. If you ever have the opportunity to come out to Dahab, you will NOT be disappointed. Especially during a non-touristy time of the year like right now. When I get home I will post some of my pictures from this trip. Until then, have a Merry Christmas!
Following breakfast, Heidi, John and I went on a 4-wheeling safari out into an oasis in the Sinai mountains, and back along the coast of the Red Sea. It was loads of fun. Now I'm here nerding it up in an internet cafe for less than a dollar an hour.
Yesterday we drove out to a place called the Blue Canyon (I think), and snorkeled there. Actually, it was mostly them snorkeling, and me standing shoulder-deep in water trying to figure out how to breathe through only my mouth without panicking when I started floating. It wasn't a very successful endeavor for me, but I did see some cool looking fish and I had the opportunity to flail around helplessly in the Red Sea. I had just read the passage about Moses and his people crossing the Red Sea that very morning to psych me up for this moment. Anyways, I should get going. I'm beginning to crave a ridiculously good meal for $5. If you ever have the opportunity to come out to Dahab, you will NOT be disappointed. Especially during a non-touristy time of the year like right now. When I get home I will post some of my pictures from this trip. Until then, have a Merry Christmas!
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
What I’m Up To
The pace of life is quickening these days. The following is a quick overview of what the rest of December has in store for me:
First of all, I had the youth pastor’s wife take a look at my injured shoulder (read Camel Racing to find out why it’s injured) and she thinks that it is probably just sprained. She’s a massage therapist, so she knows a thing or two about stuff like this. So, God willing, I should be able to make a quick recovery from it. I just realized how embarrassing this sounds. I sprained my shoulder while getting off of a camel. I sound like I’m eighty already! Oh how swiftly the years come upon me.
After this ministry week is over (Friday night is our last event of the week), we (the youth staff) are heading off on a staff retreat to Dahab, which is in the Sinai. Dahab is the Arabic word for ‘gold.’ Sounds like a luxurious trip to me. Planned activities include snorkeling in the Red Sea, 4-wheeling, and climbing Mt. Sinai to watch the sunrise. Expect some interesting stories from this trip!
A day or two after I return from Dahab, I will be celebrating Sinterclause with my Dutch family here. Sinterclause is a Dutch tradition normally celebrated on December 5th where participants exchange gifts accompanied with humorous poems explaining the gifts. It’s pretty much the commercialized portion of Christmas celebrated at the beginning of the month so that more emphasis can be put on Christ’s birth on the 25th.
And For Christmas itself, I shall be spending it with the youth pastor and his family, as well as the other intern. I hear they’ve acquired a ham somehow, so we’ll be eating that for our Christmas dinner (pork products are very rare in Muslim countries because pork is not kosher in their religion).
Following Christmas, a few of my friends are arriving and I will be taking my two weeks holiday as we travel around the countryside seeking out adventure. So, forgive me if I don’t write fairly regularly in the coming weeks. I am merely seeking out inspiration for my future blog entries.
First of all, I had the youth pastor’s wife take a look at my injured shoulder (read Camel Racing to find out why it’s injured) and she thinks that it is probably just sprained. She’s a massage therapist, so she knows a thing or two about stuff like this. So, God willing, I should be able to make a quick recovery from it. I just realized how embarrassing this sounds. I sprained my shoulder while getting off of a camel. I sound like I’m eighty already! Oh how swiftly the years come upon me.
After this ministry week is over (Friday night is our last event of the week), we (the youth staff) are heading off on a staff retreat to Dahab, which is in the Sinai. Dahab is the Arabic word for ‘gold.’ Sounds like a luxurious trip to me. Planned activities include snorkeling in the Red Sea, 4-wheeling, and climbing Mt. Sinai to watch the sunrise. Expect some interesting stories from this trip!
A day or two after I return from Dahab, I will be celebrating Sinterclause with my Dutch family here. Sinterclause is a Dutch tradition normally celebrated on December 5th where participants exchange gifts accompanied with humorous poems explaining the gifts. It’s pretty much the commercialized portion of Christmas celebrated at the beginning of the month so that more emphasis can be put on Christ’s birth on the 25th.
And For Christmas itself, I shall be spending it with the youth pastor and his family, as well as the other intern. I hear they’ve acquired a ham somehow, so we’ll be eating that for our Christmas dinner (pork products are very rare in Muslim countries because pork is not kosher in their religion).
Following Christmas, a few of my friends are arriving and I will be taking my two weeks holiday as we travel around the countryside seeking out adventure. So, forgive me if I don’t write fairly regularly in the coming weeks. I am merely seeking out inspiration for my future blog entries.
Monday, December 12, 2005
Camel Racing
Today was the day of our annual Christmas Pageant. Although it retold the story of Christ’s birth quite simply, this pageant was quite unlike any other I have been a part of. Why? Because we used live animals in our simple little pageant. Complete with sheep, camels, and a donkey! Since I was Wiseman #1, I had the privilege of riding a camel through what might be called the sanctuary of our church (maybe I’ve forgotten to tell you, our church services all take place outside, beneath a tent in an Anglican Church’s courtyard since our church doesn’t have a building of its own). It’s pretty crazy how life changes sometimes, isn’t it? About this time last year I was bundled up, trudging through -20°C weather in Canada. Now, here I am in Egypt riding camels while I’m dressed in a galabiaa (I don’t know how to spell it, but a galabiaa is a typical Middle Eastern form of clothing that is little more than a one-piece gown that reaches from your shoulders to your ankles).
Well, now that I have had the experience of riding a camel around, I would like to share a few tips with each of you, should you ever have the opportunity to ride one:
1. Go to the bathroom before riding a camel. Camels enjoy elongated periods of urination, often just before going on stage. As the camel relieves itself, the sound of it causes you to wish you were doing the same.
2. Pull your galabiaa up to your knees before attempting to mount the camel. Galabiaas are somewhat constricting and don’t allow you to spread your legs much wider than shoulder length.
3. Sit close behind the first hump of the camel so that you can wrap your legs around the hump and rest them on its neck. This also enables you to pull your galabiaa back down over your white legs.
4. Lean back when the camel begins to stand up. A camel stands up in stages. First its hind legs stand up about half-way, then its front half stands up completely, and finally, the back half erects itself completely. During this time, you must lean back, then forward, and then back again. Doing so keeps you from flying off of the camel as it stands up.
5. Watch your head when riding a camel in a confined area. Camels are much bigger when you’re riding them than they look in postcards! You’re sitting about six feet off the ground when riding a camel. Your head is therefore much higher… perhaps in the vicinity of where loudspeakers are hung.
6. When dismounting a camel while it is still standing, practice doing so before you try it in front of five hundred people. At one point in the pageant I had to jump off of the camel, onto the stage, all without it sitting down. Let’s just say in our first performance, my dismounting procedure was less than graceful (and now I’ve got an injured shoulder from the stunt as well). At least the audience had a good laugh (I sort of missed part of the stage when I tried to jump off of the camel onto the stage).
7. Another thing to remember when dismounting a camel is to be sure that your galabiaa doesn’t get caught on the saddle horn (I made that term up. I’m talking about the handle thingy that you hold onto while riding). Failure to do so could result in a most embarrassing incident. This tip was inspired while watching Wiseman #2 dismount from his camel. This also got a good laugh from the audience.
Well folks, there you have it! All you need to know to successfully ride a camel! I hope you enjoy your Christmas season, wherever you are in this world. Who knows what your next Christmas will have in store for you!
Well, now that I have had the experience of riding a camel around, I would like to share a few tips with each of you, should you ever have the opportunity to ride one:
1. Go to the bathroom before riding a camel. Camels enjoy elongated periods of urination, often just before going on stage. As the camel relieves itself, the sound of it causes you to wish you were doing the same.
2. Pull your galabiaa up to your knees before attempting to mount the camel. Galabiaas are somewhat constricting and don’t allow you to spread your legs much wider than shoulder length.
3. Sit close behind the first hump of the camel so that you can wrap your legs around the hump and rest them on its neck. This also enables you to pull your galabiaa back down over your white legs.
4. Lean back when the camel begins to stand up. A camel stands up in stages. First its hind legs stand up about half-way, then its front half stands up completely, and finally, the back half erects itself completely. During this time, you must lean back, then forward, and then back again. Doing so keeps you from flying off of the camel as it stands up.
5. Watch your head when riding a camel in a confined area. Camels are much bigger when you’re riding them than they look in postcards! You’re sitting about six feet off the ground when riding a camel. Your head is therefore much higher… perhaps in the vicinity of where loudspeakers are hung.
6. When dismounting a camel while it is still standing, practice doing so before you try it in front of five hundred people. At one point in the pageant I had to jump off of the camel, onto the stage, all without it sitting down. Let’s just say in our first performance, my dismounting procedure was less than graceful (and now I’ve got an injured shoulder from the stunt as well). At least the audience had a good laugh (I sort of missed part of the stage when I tried to jump off of the camel onto the stage).
7. Another thing to remember when dismounting a camel is to be sure that your galabiaa doesn’t get caught on the saddle horn (I made that term up. I’m talking about the handle thingy that you hold onto while riding). Failure to do so could result in a most embarrassing incident. This tip was inspired while watching Wiseman #2 dismount from his camel. This also got a good laugh from the audience.
Well folks, there you have it! All you need to know to successfully ride a camel! I hope you enjoy your Christmas season, wherever you are in this world. Who knows what your next Christmas will have in store for you!
Thursday, December 08, 2005
Off Topic: Awkward Moments
I think some of my friends know me as, “one who attracts awkward situations”. I don’t deny this. I often find, much like my dear friend, Matt Yeomans, that awkward situations are the spice of life. Nothing makes life interesting like a good awkward moment. Not only does it make you quite aware that you are alive and well (though wishing you were dead), it also gives you some excellent stories to tell at a later date. I for one, have many an awkward situation to keep the grandchildren entertained. First things first, though. If you’re hoping to read about my Adventures in Egypt, this is the wrong post for you. I am taking an intermission from my adventures and am instead taking some time to inform you, my faithful readers, how to enjoy awkward situations. I shall do this via a case study.
The case study goes as such: your friend is helping you fix your air conditioner and in doing so, electrocutes himself (I use the masculine tense, because what woman would attempt to fix an air conditioner for you? Now what is a female activist to do here? Argue that women can fix air conditioners? Or let it slide because women aren’t dumb enough to electrocute themselves?). Now, your friend is not dead from this calamity, nor is he unconscious. He is merely (not merrily) dancing around the room shouting at the top of his lungs. In other words, he is slightly out of sorts.
Now, put yourself in that room while your friend is dancing around screaming. Just what are you supposed to do in this situation? I hardly think asking, “Are you okay” is going to help the situation! Some people may join in the screaming and dancing, just because they subconsciously want to empathize with their friend. I remember when I was little and I hurt my friend and made him cry, I would often start crying as well. But I really don’t think this is the way to get through this awkward situation.
Here is my step by step recommendation. Step 1. Act like nothing happened. Step 2. Hold in your laughter. Step 3. Empathize by saying, “It’s okay, take a moment to recompose yourself. I don’t mind.” Step 4. Leave the room and excrete your laughter into a nearby pillow. Step 5. Re-enter the room holding a glass of water, offer it to your friend, and ask, “Is it fixed yet?” Step 6. Grab some Kleenex to stop the bleeding from your nose. Step 7. Realize that you are the victim in this whole fiasco.
There you have it, folks! You have turned this awkward situation into an event where nearby women will shower you with their pity, rather than your lame friend who can’t even fix an air conditioner. Note the importance of Step #1. Acting like nothing happened increases the awkwardness factor and thus, increases the enjoyment of the awkward situation. I used electrocution in this case study because I can recall multiple times where I have been in the presence of someone who has electrocuted themselves, and I can’t help but notice how awkward it is when that happens. Now, I hope each of you can benefit from these simple words of wisdom. Perhaps you can even contrive a situation where you can try out these seven simple steps. One example of this would be to drop an earring in the toaster, hand your friend a fork, and ask him to fish it out for you. If he thinks to unplug the toaster before his heroic rescue attempt, casually plug it back in without him noticing. Now that I think of it, this method could probably be useful for ending a relationship that you think is going nowhere. Just drop that engagement ring into the toaster and let the fiancée do the dirty work. If you’re lucky, there won’t even be a need to dump him, and you’ll be showered with pity by all his friends and family. I should write a book about this.
The case study goes as such: your friend is helping you fix your air conditioner and in doing so, electrocutes himself (I use the masculine tense, because what woman would attempt to fix an air conditioner for you? Now what is a female activist to do here? Argue that women can fix air conditioners? Or let it slide because women aren’t dumb enough to electrocute themselves?). Now, your friend is not dead from this calamity, nor is he unconscious. He is merely (not merrily) dancing around the room shouting at the top of his lungs. In other words, he is slightly out of sorts.
Now, put yourself in that room while your friend is dancing around screaming. Just what are you supposed to do in this situation? I hardly think asking, “Are you okay” is going to help the situation! Some people may join in the screaming and dancing, just because they subconsciously want to empathize with their friend. I remember when I was little and I hurt my friend and made him cry, I would often start crying as well. But I really don’t think this is the way to get through this awkward situation.
Here is my step by step recommendation. Step 1. Act like nothing happened. Step 2. Hold in your laughter. Step 3. Empathize by saying, “It’s okay, take a moment to recompose yourself. I don’t mind.” Step 4. Leave the room and excrete your laughter into a nearby pillow. Step 5. Re-enter the room holding a glass of water, offer it to your friend, and ask, “Is it fixed yet?” Step 6. Grab some Kleenex to stop the bleeding from your nose. Step 7. Realize that you are the victim in this whole fiasco.
There you have it, folks! You have turned this awkward situation into an event where nearby women will shower you with their pity, rather than your lame friend who can’t even fix an air conditioner. Note the importance of Step #1. Acting like nothing happened increases the awkwardness factor and thus, increases the enjoyment of the awkward situation. I used electrocution in this case study because I can recall multiple times where I have been in the presence of someone who has electrocuted themselves, and I can’t help but notice how awkward it is when that happens. Now, I hope each of you can benefit from these simple words of wisdom. Perhaps you can even contrive a situation where you can try out these seven simple steps. One example of this would be to drop an earring in the toaster, hand your friend a fork, and ask him to fish it out for you. If he thinks to unplug the toaster before his heroic rescue attempt, casually plug it back in without him noticing. Now that I think of it, this method could probably be useful for ending a relationship that you think is going nowhere. Just drop that engagement ring into the toaster and let the fiancée do the dirty work. If you’re lucky, there won’t even be a need to dump him, and you’ll be showered with pity by all his friends and family. I should write a book about this.
The Christmas Bazaar
This past weekend the annual Maadi Women’s Guild Christmas Bazaar took place. This is a big deal because women like to shop, and this Bazaar was organized by women. I don’t know the statistics, but tons of people were packed into this Cairo American College campus, and tons of merchants were there selling their wares. Our youth group was one of those merchants. We had what I like to refer to as “the main attraction” table. Our table had a steady lineup of people paying inflated amounts for our goods until we were sold out. What were we selling? North American candy, of course! When all was said and done, we made about $4000 USD PROFIT! This money is of course going towards our M-trip to the Ukraine in April, which I am still raising the funds for (people just never stop asking for money in this world! Apparently the student loan people are bugging my folks while I’m here, too). Well I say, from this day forth, I shall boycott money! Oh wait, I forgot, I’m boycotting boycotting. Hehe, MS Word thinks I made an error because I typed boycotting twice in a row. Stupid MS Word. Let this be a lesson to you: context is very important. For instance, today I walked into my office and noticed that Heidi’s chair was wet. Now, obviously I would assume that she had peed her pants, but as I looked at her handbag, saw the fluid dripping from it, and saw all of her stuff lying on her desk drying, I came to the conclusion that ‘No, she did not pee her pants. She peed in her handbag.” Gross. Anyways, the moral of the story is “keep your pee in the bathroom.” Well now, I’ve successfully brought potty humor into my blog two entries in a row. I must really be becoming a youth pastor! I wonder how long it’ll take for Heidi to get mad at me for writing all this. Start counting now and I’ll let you know.
Wow, talk about rabbit trails. Back to the Christmas Bazaar. No wait, first let me tell you about how insane the mind of a middle school student is. I will ask them a question, for example, “Why should we not steal?” One student will then shout out, “I once hit my head on a steel archway!” (I would think to myself, “So what? The archway I hit my head on was cement. Touché.” P.S. I’ve never figured out how to properly use the word, ‘Touché”). Anyways, after that kid mentions the steel archway, the next student will scream out in even more excitement, “I can do a back arch!” Then the next student will shout, “I have a back!” To which all of the other students will realize that, they too, have backs and thus they will excitedly compare backs until one of them starts talking about their great uncle Joe who has a crooked back. Then someone else will talk about their uncle who lives in a cabin. Then another student will tell about the time they once went to a cabin. Then I will repeat the question, “Why should we not steal?” Then the whole ordeal starts over with a completely new set of random rabbit trails. I generally leave my Friday School class wondering two things. One. Why did God invent kids. Two. Why did God call me to minister to them? Although I’m sure there’s a deep answer to this question, I think the most obvious is probably that God is punishing me for being a horrible junior high student to all of the youth leaders that I had. Some people say they like the smell of their own ‘brand’. Well nobody likes the taste of their own medicine. In other news, I think that saying is far too outdated and cliché.
Ok, back to the Christmas Bazaar. Hey it’s December now! Did I mention I’m in the Christmas pageant this year? I get to be Wiseman #1. Wiseman #1 gets to ride a camel! Oh yeah, I think I did say this already. Anyways, the pageant is this Sunday. At first I thought that was so normal, but then I remembered that we normally have church on Fridays, so that’s pretty weird. Hmmm. I like root beer.
Wow, talk about rabbit trails. Back to the Christmas Bazaar. No wait, first let me tell you about how insane the mind of a middle school student is. I will ask them a question, for example, “Why should we not steal?” One student will then shout out, “I once hit my head on a steel archway!” (I would think to myself, “So what? The archway I hit my head on was cement. Touché.” P.S. I’ve never figured out how to properly use the word, ‘Touché”). Anyways, after that kid mentions the steel archway, the next student will scream out in even more excitement, “I can do a back arch!” Then the next student will shout, “I have a back!” To which all of the other students will realize that, they too, have backs and thus they will excitedly compare backs until one of them starts talking about their great uncle Joe who has a crooked back. Then someone else will talk about their uncle who lives in a cabin. Then another student will tell about the time they once went to a cabin. Then I will repeat the question, “Why should we not steal?” Then the whole ordeal starts over with a completely new set of random rabbit trails. I generally leave my Friday School class wondering two things. One. Why did God invent kids. Two. Why did God call me to minister to them? Although I’m sure there’s a deep answer to this question, I think the most obvious is probably that God is punishing me for being a horrible junior high student to all of the youth leaders that I had. Some people say they like the smell of their own ‘brand’. Well nobody likes the taste of their own medicine. In other news, I think that saying is far too outdated and cliché.
Ok, back to the Christmas Bazaar. Hey it’s December now! Did I mention I’m in the Christmas pageant this year? I get to be Wiseman #1. Wiseman #1 gets to ride a camel! Oh yeah, I think I did say this already. Anyways, the pageant is this Sunday. At first I thought that was so normal, but then I remembered that we normally have church on Fridays, so that’s pretty weird. Hmmm. I like root beer.
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
The Pyramids of Giza
After nearly four months of living here in Cairo, I finally made it out to see the Pyramids of Giza
which are considered one of the wonders of the world. They were pretty cool. It was a very nice day to be out there. The temperature wasn’t too hot or cold… about 23 degrees Celsius, I think. The reason I finally got to see them was because John, the youth pastor, was taking his parents (visiting from the US) to see them. They were a fun couple to spend the day with. I got my picture taken on a camel in front of the pyramids, a disgustingly touristy thing, but something that had to be done. I guess it’s a lot like going to the bathroom. Nobody likes it that much, but sometimes the paperwork just has to be done. The wind messed up my hair, so the picture wasn’t great.
Now that I’ve defiled this post with potty humor, I will tell you a little about my experiences at the foot of the pyramids (note: climbing the pyramids is not allowed). First things first. Those pyramids are falling apart. They could use a facelift of something ‘cause they’re turning into overvalued sand dunes! I suppose after thousands of years manmade objects are bound to disintegrate, but really, these are the PYRAMIDS, they should be perfect! I wonder if they were this run down when Jesus saw them. That’s what I found the coolest about the pyramids - the fact that Jesus probably stood on nearby ground and saw them when He was walking the earth a couple thousand years ago.
Second interesting thing about the pyramids: there appear to be more buskers and salespeople than there are tourists! They’re all super friendly and outgoing… and pushy. They’ll tell you to take a picture of them, no charge. Then you do it. Then they’ll tell you
to get in the picture. No charge. Then you try to walk away and they want money from you. I wonder if they know what “no charge” actually means. There’s another funny thing about these guys, too. They all use the same jokes! It’s like they go to a class and learn lame one-liners to say to people that come from various locations around the world. If I told someone I was from Canada, they would almost always respond “Heeey! Canada Dry!!” If they didn’t say that, they’d say “Welcome to Alaska!” Sure, it’s slightly humorous the first time, I guess, but when EVERYone says it to you, it sort of loses its novelty. Oh well. I got back at them by taking pictures of them and not paying them. Suckers (hey, they said ‘no charge’)!
One other weird thing about the Pyramids of Giza is the fact that they’re not in the middle of nowhere like Aladdin (perhaps that’s not the best example) and other movies often make them appear. Here is a picture I took from inside Pizza Hut that allows you to see how close the city of Cairo actually is.
All in all it was a pretty neat experience. It’s kind of weird cause I’ve waited my whole life (well, since moving to Egypt, at least) to see these things, and when I got there and saw them I didn’t really know what to do. We drove up, I took a picture, and then I wondered what we were going to do for the rest of the day. Don’t worry, we filled the time by walking around the pyramids and other little things and I secretly kept my eyes peeled for dinosaur bones. I figured if I found bones out here, they probably wouldn’t be from dinosaurs, though. Apparently these large pyramidal structures are glorified tombs or something like that. I think I’ll be fine with “He was a good man” on my tombstone.
Now surely there’s more to say about being at the pyramids, but I’ve come to realize that if I tell all of you every detail about my adventures while I’m here, I’ll have nothing to tell you when I get back! So, maybe if you’re nice, some day I’ll tell you about the chimpanzee attack, the elephant parade, and the genie I met named, Akbar. Until then, write me letters and tell me how much you love me.
which are considered one of the wonders of the world. They were pretty cool. It was a very nice day to be out there. The temperature wasn’t too hot or cold… about 23 degrees Celsius, I think. The reason I finally got to see them was because John, the youth pastor, was taking his parents (visiting from the US) to see them. They were a fun couple to spend the day with. I got my picture taken on a camel in front of the pyramids, a disgustingly touristy thing, but something that had to be done. I guess it’s a lot like going to the bathroom. Nobody likes it that much, but sometimes the paperwork just has to be done. The wind messed up my hair, so the picture wasn’t great.Now that I’ve defiled this post with potty humor, I will tell you a little about my experiences at the foot of the pyramids (note: climbing the pyramids is not allowed). First things first. Those pyramids are falling apart. They could use a facelift of something ‘cause they’re turning into overvalued sand dunes! I suppose after thousands of years manmade objects are bound to disintegrate, but really, these are the PYRAMIDS, they should be perfect! I wonder if they were this run down when Jesus saw them. That’s what I found the coolest about the pyramids - the fact that Jesus probably stood on nearby ground and saw them when He was walking the earth a couple thousand years ago.
Second interesting thing about the pyramids: there appear to be more buskers and salespeople than there are tourists! They’re all super friendly and outgoing… and pushy. They’ll tell you to take a picture of them, no charge. Then you do it. Then they’ll tell you
to get in the picture. No charge. Then you try to walk away and they want money from you. I wonder if they know what “no charge” actually means. There’s another funny thing about these guys, too. They all use the same jokes! It’s like they go to a class and learn lame one-liners to say to people that come from various locations around the world. If I told someone I was from Canada, they would almost always respond “Heeey! Canada Dry!!” If they didn’t say that, they’d say “Welcome to Alaska!” Sure, it’s slightly humorous the first time, I guess, but when EVERYone says it to you, it sort of loses its novelty. Oh well. I got back at them by taking pictures of them and not paying them. Suckers (hey, they said ‘no charge’)!One other weird thing about the Pyramids of Giza is the fact that they’re not in the middle of nowhere like Aladdin (perhaps that’s not the best example) and other movies often make them appear. Here is a picture I took from inside Pizza Hut that allows you to see how close the city of Cairo actually is.
All in all it was a pretty neat experience. It’s kind of weird cause I’ve waited my whole life (well, since moving to Egypt, at least) to see these things, and when I got there and saw them I didn’t really know what to do. We drove up, I took a picture, and then I wondered what we were going to do for the rest of the day. Don’t worry, we filled the time by walking around the pyramids and other little things and I secretly kept my eyes peeled for dinosaur bones. I figured if I found bones out here, they probably wouldn’t be from dinosaurs, though. Apparently these large pyramidal structures are glorified tombs or something like that. I think I’ll be fine with “He was a good man” on my tombstone.
Now surely there’s more to say about being at the pyramids, but I’ve come to realize that if I tell all of you every detail about my adventures while I’m here, I’ll have nothing to tell you when I get back! So, maybe if you’re nice, some day I’ll tell you about the chimpanzee attack, the elephant parade, and the genie I met named, Akbar. Until then, write me letters and tell me how much you love me.
Saturday, December 03, 2005
The Talent Show!!
I wrote two posts last month about a dream I had a while ago. The reason I began writing about dreams in the first place was actually because of a dream I had multiple times in the month of November. The dreams I had were about our talent show that was to take place on November 25th. It was my job to emcee the event, so my dreams were of possible outcomes of the evening. Perhaps they would be better referred to as nightmares. See, each time I had these dreams about the talent show, they were dreams of the evening failing miserably, all because of my terrible job emceeing. Needless to say, I began feeling slightly anxious about the evening as it approached. It was going to be my first time emceeing anything, and it was going to be in front of, not only youth, but adults as well!
Well, seeing that we’re into the month of December now, November 25th has already come and gone. So, was it as disastrous as my dreams suggested? Were they prophetic utterances of what was to come? Did the world really end?? No. Not yet, at least. The show actually went quite well. My head cold took a backseat for the evening and allowed me to enjoy myself without feeling too out of it. Some of the talents for the evening consisted of crazy skits, a stand-up comedian, lip-syncing to ‘O Holy Nightmare,’ insane jump-roping, Bible Chubby Bunny, a number of musical acts, and a synchronized ball-eh performed by yours truly. Click here to see a short snippet of our ball-eh. As I introduced acts for the evening I demonstrated a few of my own talents for the audience to enjoy. Some of these talents consisted of: blowing up a surgical glove over my head with my nose (quite a feat when you have a cold), imitating cartoon voices (also not great with a cold), doing sound effects, juggling, and wiggling my ears (without moving my hair, might I add). I even played Amazing Grace on my cheeks. That’s a talent I’ve never showed anyone before! Oh, another talent I said I had was that I could eat a $1000 bill. I didn’t expect anyone to have one so I didn’t plan on having to demonstrate that talent. To my dismay, though, some witty members of the audience wrote up the costs for various items around the church and, later in the evening, presented me with a bill that totaled $1000. They were nice enough to provide me with some water to help chew up the full sheet of paper. Jerks. Anyways, the evening was enjoyable, we raised money for our trip to the Ukraine, and the show didn’t bomb like my dreams suggested. Good times.
The next day I was even sicker than before (sicker doesn’t really sound right, but hey, that’s what my spell check told me to do), but that was to be expected. I’m still fighting off that stupid cold today. It’s like reality TV. It just doesn’t know when to stop (Did I hear correctly that Big Brother is back again?? Pathetic! “Stay tuned for the next installment of ‘Things I Can Get my Dog to Eat’ and ‘My Big Gay Divorce!’”). Ok, that’s all for today. Stay tuned for My Trip to the Pyramids (soon to be a hit reality show, I’m sure)!!
Well, seeing that we’re into the month of December now, November 25th has already come and gone. So, was it as disastrous as my dreams suggested? Were they prophetic utterances of what was to come? Did the world really end?? No. Not yet, at least. The show actually went quite well. My head cold took a backseat for the evening and allowed me to enjoy myself without feeling too out of it. Some of the talents for the evening consisted of crazy skits, a stand-up comedian, lip-syncing to ‘O Holy Nightmare,’ insane jump-roping, Bible Chubby Bunny, a number of musical acts, and a synchronized ball-eh performed by yours truly. Click here to see a short snippet of our ball-eh. As I introduced acts for the evening I demonstrated a few of my own talents for the audience to enjoy. Some of these talents consisted of: blowing up a surgical glove over my head with my nose (quite a feat when you have a cold), imitating cartoon voices (also not great with a cold), doing sound effects, juggling, and wiggling my ears (without moving my hair, might I add). I even played Amazing Grace on my cheeks. That’s a talent I’ve never showed anyone before! Oh, another talent I said I had was that I could eat a $1000 bill. I didn’t expect anyone to have one so I didn’t plan on having to demonstrate that talent. To my dismay, though, some witty members of the audience wrote up the costs for various items around the church and, later in the evening, presented me with a bill that totaled $1000. They were nice enough to provide me with some water to help chew up the full sheet of paper. Jerks. Anyways, the evening was enjoyable, we raised money for our trip to the Ukraine, and the show didn’t bomb like my dreams suggested. Good times.
The next day I was even sicker than before (sicker doesn’t really sound right, but hey, that’s what my spell check told me to do), but that was to be expected. I’m still fighting off that stupid cold today. It’s like reality TV. It just doesn’t know when to stop (Did I hear correctly that Big Brother is back again?? Pathetic! “Stay tuned for the next installment of ‘Things I Can Get my Dog to Eat’ and ‘My Big Gay Divorce!’”). Ok, that’s all for today. Stay tuned for My Trip to the Pyramids (soon to be a hit reality show, I’m sure)!!
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