Have you ever felt that each passing day flies by faster than the last? Do you ever look back and wonder where all the days have gone? Perhaps you wonder to yourself, “How can I keep from getting lost in this mad rush of time?” Well folks, allow me to give you a recipe that is sure to slow down your perception of time:
1. Move away from all those who are dear to you
2. Move away from all that is familiar to you
Today is my day off, and on my days off I often realize how slow time is passing by for me while I’m in Egypt. It’s not that my days off go slow. They don’t seem to last long enough! And it’s not really my weekdays that go slow either. They seem to pass by quick enough. A week doesn’t seem to take very long to end, either. So wherein lies the problem here? It appears as though it is life itself that has slowed down for me. I look back to August 8th, when I left Canada, and it feels like an eternity ago! I feel like I’ve been away from everyone for so long and that any day now I should be heading back home to reunite myself with my previous life. But then I look at the calendar and realize that I haven’t even been here for 10 weeks!
Now I’m sure that one of these days I will look back and wonder where all the months of this past year have gone and think to myself, “It feels like only yesterday that I arrived in Cairo and was building that ridiculous food fight contraption,” but that is because I will have become familiarized with this new life of mine and will have developed deep and meaningful friendships that I won’t want to leave behind. But until that time comes, life crawls along as if it were in the wake of a snail. This does not mean that I find life at this moment miserable and unenjoyable, but merely long and uncertain. In these days of a slowed perspective, I am often left with mixed feelings about this ministry I seek to devote my life to. Some days I will wake and be energized and driven to accomplish the deeds of the day. Other days I feel I hardly wake at all. I simply drudge through the day not wanting to do even the simplest tasks. On days like these I am overwhelmed when I look at all that needs to be done in youth ministry. I sit there tired and helpless, wishing I were getting myself into a simpler profession. On such days I feel butterflies battling it out inside my stomach and I never quite know why. It is days like these that make time crawl by. It is days like these that make home seem farther away. And it seems like these are the days that have been coming in abundance during my stay. This is probably just because they take longer to get though than a driven and energetic day. Either way, if I want to succeed in this ministry, I must learn to conquer such days.
I wonder if my perspective has been set too much on surviving rather than on thriving. Perhaps I want to do just enough to get through each day without failing, rather than to get through each day screaming not only success, but legendary triumph as well! We all want to be people whom legends are written about, but how many of us have the passion to make a legend happen? I have been given the honor of coming to Egypt as an ambassador of Christ. I should go through each day boldly doing the work of the Lord because He has entrusted me to come here to do it for Him. This work should not be my own, but His, and the success of it should not rest on me, but upon Him! Maybe I have these drudging tiresome days because I forget to see the big picture and attempt to do things all on my own strength. But this seems so elementary! A lesson I have learned many times before! Well, let me tell you a little secret: no matter how smart you are and how great your memory is, sometimes you still forget. Look at the Israelites! God stepped in and miraculously helped them a number of times, and yet they always managed to forget about God and to build themselves idols to worship instead. At times I get angry at how stupid the Israelites seem to me, but that’s because I can see the bigger picture. If I step back from my life and take a look at things, I am no better than them.
So tell me, how do you fully rely on God each and every day? How do you get enough passion and zeal from Him to successfully make it through the unending days of time, not only as a survivor, but as a winner? I would like to hear your thoughts on this! I have enabled comments on my blog so that each of you may leave your thoughts and opinions. Alternatively, you can always send me an email with your thoughts as well.
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4 comments:
Hey, Ryan
I haven't any advice for you. However, do you remember that time at college when I was really depressed and you and Liz and I got in my car and drove around the residential sections and then went to Tim Hortons. That meant alot to me.
Wanita
Hey my funny and sometimes serious friend. Man, your blogs are great-thank you for being so honest-it's encouraging!
I feel the same way you do on some days- depressed and forgetful. Maybe being depressed makes you forget. It allows you only to focus on yourself instead of the so called 'big picture.' I think we need to remember that as Christians, we are on a journey that God has called us to be on, and that will include hardship and failure. Not all the time, but sometimes for sure. I'm in Revelation class with Spilsy and he's been talking about the theme of the Israelites wandering in the desert as a recurrant theme throughout scripture and played out in our lives. One day we will arrive at the promise land, and until then, God will keep reminding us
your fellow wanderer,
Jess Mix
Hey Ryan,
I really appreciate your honesty. I've been kinda freaked out lately, knowing that I am going to have days like what you're describing.
I talked to my good friend Jen Hurrell though, who is in a sort-of-similiar-situation, being all by herself in a strange city (near Toronto, no less) and she had these words to give me:
"The only thing that gets me through my day is knowing that Jesus never said that *this* was going to be easy."
There were a few more things in there, but honestly that was only that line that I needed to hear, and it really encouraged me. I kept forgetting that we are set apart to do God's work, and by accepting it, we are accepting the hard stuff that comes with it. Of course, we'll see how well I can stick by that when it's my turn.
I hope you can take some comfort in that tidbit of Hurrell wisdom - ha! In knowing that we're screwed for the easy life, really!
But seriously, I'm praying for you, man. Keep truckin'...
Jacquie
Mr. Monson of the Ryan variety.
Let me begin by telling you how very much I'm enjoying your blog. How great is it that I get to experience the sights. sounds and smells, ( that's alliteration) of Egypt through your excellent wordsmithing and photogs.
With regard to your most human conundrum, let me hopefully encourage you with words from a recent sermon and His words.
First, human words. Life happens in the mundane.
Wow, how profound is that. I know not really, but it is something to chew on. Remember Christ's life? He lived to be 33 years of age and yet we only have the highlights of His last 3. I'm thinking there was a lot of the mundane during the first 30. Not only was He learning to be about His Heavenly Fathers business, He was likely busy learning his earthly fathers business. Carpentry! You know all about that as I recall. We don't hear a great deal about Joseph, post repatriation, so it's safe to say that Jesus was the primary provider for his family. How mundane is that for the "King of Kings".
Even in this, he did not become weary in well doing.
Now more importantly to Gods sentiment on living this thing called life. All of the following is loosely paraphrased and needs to kept in context, but hopefully will serve you well.
"This is the CONFIDENCE we have when approaching God; that if we ask ANYTHING according to HIS will, He hears us and if we know that He hears us, we KNOW that we have what we ask of Him." So I encourage you to begin by asking Him for what you know corresponds completely with His will. I'll forward you of what examples might be at a later date, after giving you the chance to excavate on your own or a while. I'm sure you'll enjoy greater success than your desert dinosaur digs (more alliteration).
" He has given us this truth that it (the truth) would set us free". Part of the lesson here is to trust what God says about the realities of life rather than on what it is you might be feeling. Feelings are notoriously overestimated.
Thanks for all your doing for the kingdom through your obedience, keeping in mind that "obedience is better that sacrifice". Also it's NOT you who accomplishes the work, but as you observe the Father at work, you"re privileged to come along side.
I'll take my leave now as I do tend to prattle on.
BB
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